A doctor has described people’s most common regrets on their death bed. Internal medicine specialist Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider stated that most people regret not spending enough time with family, working too much, not taking enough risks, losing opportunities due to fear or low self-confidence, and focusing too much on the future. Dr. Ungerleider said everyone should try to remember these lessons while they still have time to take action and make the most of their short time. “Throughout our lives, this present moment is all we have,” she said.
The doctor further advised people to take care of their physical health, but to also focus on the shortness of life, and appreciate the time that they have. Others who work with terminally ill patients make similar recommendations, mainly that people should spend more time with their loved ones while they can.
Hadley Vlahos, from New Orleans, shares her experiences of working at a hospice on TikTok. She likewise testifies that most people’s biggest regret is spending too much time at work and too little time relaxing with family. “A lot of people feel like they don’t know their kids at all,” she claimed. Vlahos added that money means very little to people when they reach the very end, and that we all arrive at the same place regardless of our finances.
Maureen Keeley, author of the book Final Conversations, has documented what people do in their very final moments and said that most call out for their mothers. “Almost everyone is calling for Mommy or Mama with the last breath,” she said.
Lisa Smartt wrote Words on the Threshold and notes that in her experience, dying people often discuss traveling or journeys in their last moments. She cites a young girl dying from cancer who told her that if she could find a map, she could go home.
A California hospice nurse who posts to social media under the name Julie describes other experiences patients have immediately before they die, including changes to their skin color and breathing patterns. During what she calls the “actively dying phase,” consciousness is altered, and the body’s skin takes on a marble-like appearance. “Our bodies take care of ourselves at the end of life,” she added.
